Score: 10

"Addictive, stylish and fun"

submission: Toss the Turtle

date: September 24, 2009

This game has it all: simple but fun mechanics, copious amounts of animal cruelty, a wide variety of fun weapons, et cetera. I found it especially pleasing that I could eventually go rather far, and that advancing in this game is as simple as playing and enjoying. 10/10

Score: 9

"Exellent!"

submission: BirdFlu

date: June 19, 2009

Simple, engaging, and damned fun. The Serious Sam voice clips was a great touch and the whole game felt polished but not overproduced. Great job!

Score: 9

"Well-done"

submission: D-Day Defender

date: June 9, 2009

I think that this game takes a very interesting (and diffiult to handle) perspective making you the German soldier, all the while exposing the barbarity of war and the kind of senselessness that comes with it.

And all the while, the game itself managed to keep me entertained, which I think is very deserving of a good score.

Score: 8

"Good stuff!"

submission: Darnell's Recount

date: June 2, 2009

I enjoyed this game a lot. The grotesque flair, moments of quasi-racist humor and general feel contributed to a fairly entertaining game.

My main gripe is in a lack of variety with enemies, and the general difficulty of navigating Darnell. He has an annoying habit of moving too fast or too slow, meaning I end up button mashing.

Score: 8

"TEH OH NOEZ!"

submission: Brawl Funnies [Dick 1]

date: June 1, 2009

OMG TIS FLSH IS TEH SUXX XCEPT 4 TEH RINA-CHN PRT WHIC WUZ LEIK So0o0o0o0o0o0 UBER HAWT LOLOLOLOLOLOL. U R TEH CYBUR BULLIEZ AND R MEEN ='( ^_^ DESU KAWAII

People don't really appreciate satire do they? Moreover, the reaction to this flash just probes that the audience of Newgrounds - just like our beloved ads - has changed for the worse. 14 year old Nintendo fantards.

Right - the flash. The animation wasn't fantastic, but it certainly caps the point that so long as something makes reference to Brawl or Nintendo or whatever stupid shit people enjoy these days, the art doesn't really matter. The jokes were for the most part spot on and cut to the point. I laughed out loud, which is a rarity. That being said, I think its safe to say that this is a dead horse.

Now lets wait for this review to be flagged as useless by the legions of ANGRY PH4NZORZ.

(P.S. I seriously can't get enough of that cyber bullying comment three posts down... WHAT HAS NEWGROUNDS BECOME!?!?!)

Score: 8

"Good but..."

submission: super sweatshop mastar

date: April 8, 2009

The color scheme was a little out to lunch. Introduction of some colors to differentiate enemies from clouds to make it a little less difficult to steer. Also, the random nature of the enemy movement can sometimes make the game frustrating.

Otherwise, simple and fun to play. Good job!

Score: 8

"People are too rough on this"

submission: Bowja From His Cashle

date: January 15, 2009

This is a singularly unique insight as to the artist's inner frustration at every castle containing that great, nigh-on unattainable reward. If anything, the use of sprites is a bit of "found art", if you will, expressing mankind's inner strife, pondering the seeming ad infinitum proccess of attaining unsatisfying goals, until realizing one's ultimate destination is the same as all others.

Am I reading too much into it? Yeah? Okay...

Sure, its crap, but I think its funny. Its an over the top, crap-on-purpose flash that doesn't deserve the flak it gets, and should be appreciated for what it is, not judged by the same standard as "OMG EPIK FLASH LOLLOL 5"

Score: 4

"A little basic..."

submission: More Avoidance!

date: January 15, 2009

But fun. I get what you're getting at... at least I think I do, with the whole "simple game, no rules, have fun doing stuff" premise.

I would recommend making the particles behave a little more crazy (they were pretty unresponsive, I want to see them avoid a bit better and not return to their old position as much as they do), adding obstacles and the like... and a definite graphical update.

Cheers!

Score: 9

"Interesting and fun"

submission: Monster Evolution

date: January 13, 2009

I very much like the platformey feel of this game, the innovative idea of monster evolution, and the pinache with which this is pulled off. This game has been polished and it shows, though I think a sequel (if its in the works) should move in the customization direction.

Just a thought. Great game :)

Score: 8

"Awesome"

submission: __we miss U mr rodgers!!!

date: January 8, 2009

Obviously theres two reasons vote this down, because of the art and because of the tasteless depravity.

Frankly, given its a 2003 flash, its pretty good, so I see no problem there. Also, who the fuck WOULDN'T want their bones fucked by Eddie Balin? This kind of tasteless humor is what makes Newgrounds awesome, not your overly sanitized-before-viewing 4Kids TV shit.

If you can't deal with it, read the fucking Mature rating on the movie before watching.

As for the movie, its delicious. You take crass, bawdy humor and elevate it to an artform, kind sir. You strip all dignity from the kindest of souls and cum all over it. For this, I am indebted. The only criticism I can fathom is why you aren't doing more of this.